things have definitely gotten better. i finally moved back to the city i left about 10 years ago. it’s been 2 years since i returned. my personality has improved a lot too. i’m now surrounded by my lovely friends (though i still love spending time alone at home).
the only problem is, a doctor suggested that i see a psychiatrist because i might have something going on with my brain. but she also said that if everything turns out fine, then i should see a neurologist instead. i haven’t had the time—or the “confidence”—to make an appointment, because i’m… worried. i’m scared to find out what’s actually wrong with me. but whatever this is, it’s starting to affect my daily life.
anyway, i just got engaged—about a month ago. wow.
it honestly wasn’t part of my 2026 plan. i’m still kind of surprised at myself. all this time, i’ve always had so many dreams, but somehow i never included a “partner” in any of them. maybe because since 2019, i haven’t really had anyone. i was fully focused on myself, so naturally, all the dreams i built were just… mine. i never imagined having someone to share my future with.
but now, everything has changed.
i got engaged to the same person i was with back in 2015–2019. after that, we still met once a year, but i never had any intention of getting back together with him. until mid-2025, when we met again—and somehow, everything felt different.
i guess i gave him another chance, just to see what was really behind him coming back into my life. and yeah… earlier this year, he said he wanted to come to my city—to propose.
lol. what a surprise.
if you ask me whether i’m happy right now—yes, i am.
but i don’t know if it’s because of this “brain issue” or something else, sometimes things get a little hard… with myself. and the only way i know how to deal with it is by staying quiet.
honestly, i’m a bit scared of myself sometimes. i don’t want this to affect my partner. he actually knows about my condition, and he’s suggested that i see a psychologist. maybe… it’s just about timing, until i’m truly ready to take that step.
i really hope that whatever this is, it won’t affect my relationship—especially since it’s heading toward something more serious, which is marriage.
alright, i should get back to work now.
maybe i’ll talk to you again later.
bye.
